I wouldn’t be ashamed (or lying, really) to admit that Fastlane is my actual favorite television show of all time and that I could think of no better way to spend my Saturday night than to rewatch it and fall in love with it all over again. I mean, ”I need access to the taint, yo” is a line in the first minute of the series. Fred Durst has a cameo. Your argument is blah blah blah. McG, you magnificent bastard — why did your show have to be so damn expensive? WHY?!?
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I wouldn’t be ashamed (or lying, really) to admit that Fastlane is my actual favorite television show of all time and that I could think of no better way to spend my Saturday night than to rewatch it and fall in love with it all over again. I mean, ”I need access to the taint, yo” is a line in the first minute of the series. Fred Durst has a cameo. Your argument is blah blah blah.

McG, you magnificent bastard — why did your show have to be so damn expensive? WHY?!?

Dirt… was not a good show, by any stretch of the imagination. Even as a guilty pleasure, there was far more guilt than pleasure when it came to watching this disastuh.

I like to imagine that the writers (who actually went on to much better shows) just sat in the room and said whatever random and crazy thing they could possibly think of off the top of their heads to put in an episode whenever the showrunner (who wrote for my favorite TV show 4eva, Fastlane) pointed at one of them. The FX promo department monkeys (which went into full force with promos every commercial break in October…when the show premiered in January) abused Peter Gabriel’s “Digging in the Dirt” to the point where you just watched the show so you could get the line “this time you’ve gone too far” (and Courteney Cox’s terrifying visage) out of your head. But you never could.

You never could.

Schizophrenia, kitten babies, Wayne Brady unironically cutting bitches, miscast characters, white people problems, Shannyn Sossamon and Carly Pope being the only interesting and somewhat likable characters (despite playing a ghost and drug dealer, respectively), and… Isn’t that really enough? Dirt had all of this and more.

There’s 20 episodes in this two-season series — 20 episodes more than there ever should have been. But if you haven’t seen it, then you haven’t lived a life worth living yet.

So it’s finally started. Sort of.

I’ve started my own Tumblr TV blog! *pause for applause* Right now, all there really are are my past reviews, but I’m nothing if not ambitious, so I’ve already got a bunch of stuff in store for all of you.

Just look at all the tags on the sidebar!

  • Dear LaToya… is the result of my neverending narcissism. Hit up the old ask box with TV questions, and I’ll do my best to answer them (or just completely ignore them) on HUMPDAY! Wednesday.
  • The WB Reject Project is an ongoing mission to watch/rewatch all of the WB (and CW) shows that somehow only lasted a full season (if they were lucky). Be on the lookout for a good amount of Penn Badgley in this section.
  • Some shows, I just have to rewatch, even if I knew they were terrible and bad for my soul when I saw them the first time. That’s where the ‘All the TV’ Rewatch comes in.
  • “You talk like you’re from London!” celebrates television from across the pond. Because there’s no such thing as bad British TV, amirite?
  • Because I watch Being Erica on a weekly basis, you get Canada, Eh?.
  • Lines That Were Actually Written is a tribute to the most really? that just happened? really? lines of dialogue uttered each week in television. I have no problem finding them all myself, but you all are more than welcome to submit some of your personal favorites.
  • Weekly Production will be the result of my job’s access to Production Weekly, which lists film and TV projects currently in development and pre-production. Here, I’ll let you guys know which TV pilot I’m most anticipating in terms of overall trainwreckiness or lack of originality.
  • For some reason, I thought a weekly podcast would be a good idea…
  • …as well as putting myself in front of my webcam and making videos for you guys.
  • If you can’t figure out what the tags with television show names — which will always be expanding — are all about, you should probably just turn around and go.